


Revenge of the Neighbors

by radioactivesaltghoul



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: "how to piss off ur evangelical christian neighbor" by rey and ben, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, F/M, Pegging, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 17:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20970056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: Rey and Ben’s new evangelical Christian neighbor won’t stop judging them for “living in sin,” nor will he stop giving them unsolicited “advice” about how to live their lives. Their solution? Have unnecessarily loud not-for-procreative-purposes sex when he’ll be able to hear it through the walls.





	Revenge of the Neighbors

**Author's Note:**

> you guys. you would not believe how hard i made myself blush writing this. i would posted this anonymously, but i've told too many people i was writing reylo pegging smut, so i only have myself to blame. i saw a screenshot of a reddit post a while back that made me laugh and then this au was born. Pepsi and Pals' Hardcore Kinktober Challenge was the kick i needed to finally write/finish it, so thank you persimonne for organizing that! this is for day 10; prompt: "pegging."
> 
> **general content warnings**: this is comedy about two passive-aggressive idiots trying to piss off their neighbor. that being said, it's full of anti-evangelical sentiments. (respect your neighbors' religion choices, y'all.) also, there's a brief mention of homophobia (directed at ben and rey) and a brief mention of discussions about children. those two paragraphs have been marked with ****** just in case those are things you'd like to avoid. please feel free to let me know if there's a better way for me to mark/tag that in the fic; i'd rather overtag than risk triggering someone accidentally.

It starts when Jyn and Cassian move out of the apartment next door, and Lor San Tekka moves in.

Ben and Rey are on pretty good terms with their neighbors, enough so that they had help them carry their furniture out to the truck. “We’re sorry to see you go,” Rey says. “I hope things work out for you in Jedha.” 

Later that night, they speculate on what their new neighbors will be like. “I mean, how weird can you get in Chandrila?” Ben asks. “It’s a pretty low-key city.”

The apartment next door is empty for a month before the “FOR RENT” sign is removed from the building. Ben and Rey both work outside of the apartment so by the time they’re both home from work, the new neighbor is already mostly moved in. “It’s creepy if we try to see in through the windows from the street, right?” Rey asks.

“I think so, yes,” he says. Not that he’s an expert on social graces.

When Sunday rolls around, it’s made abundantly clear what kind of neighbor they now have. Ben and Rey take their time getting out of bed in the morning; their only plans for the day involve brunch with Poe, Finn, and Rose. They’re having a hard time keeping their hands off of each other as Rey locks the door to their apartment. “New relationship energy” is the term Ben’s heard, but he and Rey have been together for two years now, so he’s pretty sure it’s just “normal relationship energy” for them. Somehow they end up with Rey pressed against the door, the key still sticking out of the lock. Her hands are tangled in his hair, and they’re making out like a couple of teenagers. Neither of them registers their audience until they hear the sound of someone clearing their throat.

They spring apart, Ben attempting to untangle his hair while Rey pulls her key out of the now-locked door. The intruder—an old, bearded white man—is giving them a huge smile. Ben notes that he’s carrying a well-used Bible in his arms. Cradling it, more like. “Good morning,” the man says, like he hasn’t just interrupted A Moment. “Happy Sunday. I’m your new neighbor, Lor San Tekka.”

He holds out his hand, and Ben and Rey both shake it. “It’s nice to meet you,” Ben says. (It’s not, actually, but he was raised to use proper manners.) “I’m Ben, and this is Rey.”

San Tekka glances at their hands. It takes Ben a moment to realize he’s looking for wedding rings, which they don’t have, seeing as they’re not married. “I was just on my way back from church,” he says, his eyes meeting Ben’s. “Where are you two off to on this fine Sunday morning? Church, I hope?”

“We’re meeting some friends,” Rey says. “For brunch.”

“Ah.” San Tekka is clearly disappointed by this answer. “Well, if you’re interested in joining me sometime, I attend the Church of the Force in Tuanul Square. We’re always open to new members.” He looks so hopeful that Ben almost feels bad about turning his invitation down.

Almost.

Luckily, Rose decides to call Ben at that exact moment, probably to ask him where the hell he and Rey are. Ben doesn’t trust himself to not make a scathing remark about the conversation his new neighbor is trying to pull them into, but the call gives them an excuse to end the conversation. “Sorry, we have to go,” Ben says before they can give the old man a real answer. 

But Lor San Tekka isn’t so easily thrown off.

It’s unclear what his job is or what hours he keeps, but it _ is _ clear that he’s heavily involved in the Church of the Force, and it’s also clear that he wants Ben and Rey to be, too. After their unfortunate first meeting, they’re more careful to not have A Moment against their front door again. 

There’s only so many ways to avoid your next-door neighbor, however. Ben has his first experience with this while doing laundry after work one day. He doesn’t mind this chore, usually; having a laundry room in the building is convenient, and he usually brings a book to read while he waits for the laundry to finish. Rey is gone tonight anyway; she’s taking a night class at Coruscant Community College.

“Good evening, Ben!” San Tekka is giving Ben a blinding smile. It makes him uncomfortable. Suspicious. This is already a conversation he doesn’t want to be involved in. “How are you on this fine Tuesday?”

“Uh, fine, I guess,” Ben says, kneeling down to start throwing dirty laundry in the machine. “You?”

“I am doing well, thank you for asking. Just finishing up some laundry before I head out to my Bible study group.” He pauses, like he’s waiting for a response. When Ben doesn’t offer one, San Tekka continues. “You know, we always love welcoming new participants,” he says. “You should come with me sometime. There’s always room for more Jesus in your heart.” 

Ben’s not entirely sure what that means, but he has no interest in joining. Religion hasn’t held any meaning to him since he and his uncle stopped talking a decade ago, and the thought of bringing it back into his life makes him feel vaguely nauseous. “I’m busy tonight, sorry,” he says, probably not sounding sorry at all. 

“Oh, that’s all right,” San Tekka says, although his smile seems somewhat diminished. “Another time, then.” When Ben tells Rey about this later on that evening, she laughs.

San Tekka isn’t exactly subtle. Flyers for church groups and recruitment sessions start appearing in their mailbox. Rey says that San Tekka has invited her to Bible study as well, but she has about as much interest in it as Ben does.

The old man’s smile seems to reach his eyes less and less every time Ben sees him, and his insistence that he get Ben and Rey to church grows stronger and stronger over time. “It isn’t too late to devote yourself to God,” he says, cornering Ben one morning as he’s leaving for work. “You and your—_woman_,” he says. The way he says _ woman _ makes Ben wonder what he actually wanted to say, and the implication that Rey is his possession has his hackles rising. “I think you two would really benefit from some time at church.” He pauses before asking, “I hate to intrude—”

_ I’ll bet you do, _ Ben thinks, not bothering to hide his scowl.

****** “—but I have to ask, are you planning on making an honest woman out of her anytime soon? If you are, the Church of the Force is the perfect place to have the wedding ceremony. That’s how nature wants it, you know. One man, one woman, together. What you two are doing, well, it’s...unnatural. Not as unnatural as two men or two women together, of course!” He laughs, like anything other than heteronormativity is a joke. 

Ben can’t believe that this conversation is actually happening. He debates informing the old man that neither he nor Rey is straight, but outing himself and his partner to an evangelical Christian is not the safest move. “We’ll take that under advisement,” he says, putting as much ice into the statement as possible before slamming the building door behind himself.

The conversation grates more and more on his nerves throughout the day, and by the time he gets home, he’s ready to scream. Rey’s not home, so he decides to go on a punishingly long run in lieu of doing something that will forfeit the security deposit on their apartment.

He feels slightly calmer when he comes back from his run and, as a bonus, Rey is home from work now. She takes one look at him and says, “You’ve had a day, haven’t you?”

“I’m going to strangle our next-door neighbor, Rey, I swear to—”

Her eyes narrow. “Strangling is too good for that little shit.” Ben would be surprised by the amount of venom she’s capable of putting in her tone if he hadn’t been on the receiving end of it for a while after they first met.

“So you agree? He needs to go down.”

****** “Yesterday he asked me when you were going to marry me so that I could quit my job and stay at home to have your children.” He can see how angry she is by the way she’s clenching and unclenching her fist, all but growling the words. The thing is, neither of them is really in any hurry to get married. Ben has no doubt that he and Rey are _ it _ for each other, but weddings are expensive, and knowing his mother, they won’t be able to get away with a small one. Neither he nor Rey want to deal with any of that right now. Kids are something they’ve discussed; the discussion consisted of “I don’t want them, nor do I see myself wanting them at any point in the future.” And anyway, it’s no one’s business what he and Rey decide to do with their relationship.

“You’re right,” Ben says after a moment of stunned silence. “Strangling is too good for him.”

They discuss the best passive-aggressive ways to get their evangelical neighbor to leave them alone all evening, but nothing feels appropriate. They don’t have his phone number, so they can’t put it on Craigslist. “Even if we did,” Rey points out, “he’d probably just use it as an excuse to preach about the Church of the Force.” Neither of them is particularly fond of that idea, but none of the next ten ideas they discuss are all that great, either. 

It’s not until later on when they’re sitting on the couch that they think of something promising. Rey is sitting with her back to the armrest, reading something on her phone, with her legs laying over Ben’s lap while he reads a book. “What if we had unnecessarily loud sex?” she asks.

Ben puts his book down, thinking. The walls are thin enough that they can occasionally hear things coming from the apartments around them. They know this from experience; they can sometimes hear the sounds of the television in the apartments on either side of theirs. “I’m not saying no,” he says, “but what if that causes him to preach even harder at us? ‘Stop living in sin and get married, you heathens.’ That, multiplied by ten.”

“What if instead of you fucking me, I fucked you?”

It takes him a minute to get her meaning, and by then, she’s bright red. “I mean, only if you want to,” she says in a rush. “It’s just an idea. We don’t have to.”

It’s not something he’s considered before, but now that he mentions it, he finds he wants to explore this possibility. "I bet he's morally opposed to sex for any purpose other than procreation, right?" Ben says. 

"Exactly," Rey says. "I've been, um, doing some reading on the subject." Ben can see a flush appearing on her chest, peeking out above the collar of her v-neck shirt, betraying just how much reading she’s been doing. 

"Have you?" he murmurs, turning to look at her. He slides his hands up her thighs, leaning over her.

"Well," she says, bright red. "I mean. It's just something I've been thinking about." 

The thing is, neither of them has a lot of sexual experience. Or, rather, neither of them has any sexual experience outside of each other. Ben has had shallow, surface-level attraction to other people, but he's never felt anything like what he feels for Rey. Besides, he was too fucked-up for a while to even consider starting a relationship, and he doesn't regret waiting. It's more or less the same for Rey. Neither of them has ever been particularly worried about it, but now he's starting to wonder how little they've experimented. "How long have you been thinking about this, Rey?" he murmurs before planting a slow, open-mouthed kiss on her neck. She shifts, turning her head to continue looking at her phone screen while giving him better access to his neck as her other hand tangles her fingers in his hair.

"Not—not too long," she says. She gasps when he nibbles her earlobe. 

"What sorts of things have you been reading?" The more he thinks about it, the more he likes the idea. Clearly, Rey's into it, and as a result, _ he's _ into it.

"There was a Reddit post," she says.

He laughs, then kisses her cheek. "Of course there was."

"I just think—you'd look really good, that's all," she says, putting her phone down. "Letting me fuck you. _ Begging _ me to fuck you." He can tell by the way she's shifting around that she's starting to look for relief. And who is he to deny her that?

* * *

They end up doing what is probably an unnecessary amount of research on the topic. _ Actual _ research, too; not just watching a bunch of porn together. Ben’s starting to wonder just how long Rey has been thinking about this, because she seems to know exactly which websites and blogs to visit for a rundown of the best toys to use and positions to try.

The more they discuss it, the more Ben wants to do it. A large part of that is that he’d do anything for Rey, and seeing her get so excited about fucking him is unbelievably hot. But he also likes the idea of her taking charge like this. Depending on how this goes, he now has a list of other suggestions for them to try, all ending in him giving up complete control to Rey. (Hell, even if this turns out to be something neither of them is into, he wants to go through that list with her anyway.)

This isn’t their first foray into anal play, however. Rey has fingered him during a blowjob and he’s rimmed her, although neither of them has done anything further than that. So they’re not completely unprepared on the day the harness arrives in the mail.

Rey gets home from work before him that day, and the text she sends him says _ Tonight is the night. _ Those four words shouldn’t make him as hard as they do, and it’s an actual struggle to resist the urge to tell his boss he’s leaving early for the day. But the anticipation is fun in its own right, so he puts his phone down and attempts to ignore the way his trousers now feel a little too tight. 

His girlfriend has a bit of a dark streak, however. Half an hour later, his phone lights up with a new message from her. When he unlocks it, a photo of Rey wearing a lacy black bralette, high heels, and the strap-on fills the phone screen and great, now he’s not going to be able to focus on anything else today. _ Just a little preview, _ she captions the image.

_ You’re not playing fair, _ he replies, weighing the risks of sneaking off to the seldom-used men’s bathroom on the ninth floor to go jerk off.

Rey: _ All’s fair in love and war. _

He snorts. He really fucking loves her, even if she _ is _ torturing him a little bit right now. When he doesn’t reply immediately, she sends one last text: _ Enjoy your afternoon, sweetheart. Can’t wait to see you later. _

By some miracle, Ben makes it through the rest of the work day without thinking too hard about what’s going to happen tonight, and he nearly runs a red light in his haste to get home. They plan on timing it just right so that Lor San Tekka will definitely be home to hear their unnecessarily loud not-for-procreative-purposes sex, but that’s only a vague thought in the back of Ben’s mind as he shuts the front door behind him, making a beeline for his girlfriend. He doesn’t even give her time to react before he’s pushing her up against the wall to kiss her.

It takes him a minute to realize she’s no longer wearing what she had on in the photo. “You changed,” he murmurs against her lips. Never mind the fact that she’d put on one of his shirts and doesn’t appear to be wearing much—if anything—under it. 

She lets out a soft laugh. “It was getting in the way,” she says, reaching down to palm him. He’s already so hard and he groans at the contact, unable to stop himself from grinding into her hand. “I don’t know how you can walk around like this all day,” she jokes.

“It’s a serious challenge.”

“Mm, I bet. Did you like the photo?" 

“It’s a miracle I was able to get anything done after you sent it.”

“Mission accomplished, then.”

* * *

The way Rey teases him is almost like a game for them. It’s something they discovered early on, how much she gets off on listening to him talk about all the dirty things he wants to do to her. Half the time he’s pretty sure he’s just babbling nonsense; it’s impossible to be coherent when she’s running her tongue up the underside of his cock before taking him into her mouth, like she is right now. The silicone cock bobbing between her legs would probably look a bit silly if he wasn’t so turned on that he couldn’t think straight, and he’s certain that if they weren’t so set on both of them being unnecessarily vocal while they did this, he could easily come just from the sight of her on her knees like this.

God, he really hopes he doesn’t embarrass himself by coming too quickly. His stamina has improved a lot since the first couple of times they fumbled their way through sex, but they’ve never done anything like this before.

She barely wastes time before slicking her fingers up with lube and sliding one inside of him. He lets out a garbled curse as her finger brushes up against his prostate. Fuck, she’s going to fill him up so much in a moment, and he’s pretty sure he’s going to beg for every single second of it. She adds another finger, stretching him just past the point of comfort. He likes a little pain, though, and she can read him well enough that she knows when to stop. He trusts her not to hurt him, which is probably a large part of the reason why he likes this so much.

If her fingers didn’t feel so good, he’d probably whine about the way she pops her lips off of his dick to ask, “Are you ready for me to fuck you yet?” Normally, when she talks dirty to him, she’s whispering about how good he makes her feel. It’s almost jarring to hear her speaking so loudly, but he doesn’t mind. It’s still hot to be asked if he wants her.

“Yes,” he gasps, fingers tangling in her hair. He’s messing up the buns she’s pulled it back into, making her look even more debauched. He loves it. He loves _ her. _

“On your knees,” she commands, sliding her fingers out of him. He feels exposed like this. It might be uncomfortable if he hadn’t been listening to her tell him how badly she wants to see him like this all week. Instead, he’s just filled with anticipation. “How badly do you want me to fuck you right now, Ben?” She’s running her hands along the backs of his thighs now. He feels the bed shift as she kneels behind him, the lube-slicked dildo nudging at his entrance.

“Oh my god,” he says, unconsciously shifting his hips back. “Please fuck me.” 

“I don’t know,” she says, shifting her hips back away from him. “I don’t think you want it badly enough yet.”

“I need your cock, Rey.” They’d both agreed that loud, dirty talk was a necessity for this revenge plan, but the words spilling out of his mouth aren’t even forced. “Fill me up. _ Please._”

“Good boy,” she purrs. “Hold still.” She grips his hips, holding him in place as she slides slowly into him, eliciting a loud, guttural groan from him. Even if they had wanted to be quiet, Ben’s not sure he would be able to hold this in. “Do you have any idea,” she asks as she starts to move in slow, shallow thrusts, “what it does to me to see you like this? To take you like this?”

“No,” he manages to get out. “Tell me.”

“I’ve fantasized about this for so long,” she shouts. “Fucking you, making you beg for my cock. You look even better than I’d imagined.”

“Fuuuu—” He can’t even get the whole word out when she shifts her hips, the toy now hitting him exactly where he needs. “_Yes. _ More. _ Please._” This is going to take even less time than he’d thought at the rate they’re going. All the teasing has only made it worse. 

Or better, depending on how you look at it. 

He can almost hear the smirk when she says, “Eager, aren’t you? Do you want to come, Ben?”

“God, yes, please—_ Fuck._”

“What was that?”

“_Please,_” he tries again. “I need to come, please let me come, I’ll do anything, Rey, I love you so much.” He’s practically whining, but it seems to please Rey, because she doesn’t waste any time reaching around to grab his cock. She barely has to touch him before a loud, guttural moan escapes him as he comes _ hard _ all over the sheets.

He’s still panting hard when she lets go of his cock and gingerly slides out of him. “Holy shit,” he manages to get out, still shaking too hard to move yet. “Rey. Holy _ shit. _ That was incredible.”

He hears something drop to the floor and a minute later, Rey’s hand is sliding along his back, urging him to sit down next to her. “Mm,” she says, kissing him. “_You’re _ incredible.”

* * *

Naturally, they need to wash their sheets because _ holy shit _ Ben still can’t believe how hard he came. As a bonus, San Tekka is in the building’s laundry room, moving his clothes into the dryer. For the first time in their entire acquaintance, he doesn’t attempt to convert them to the Church of the Force. He can’t even look them in the eyes as his face turns red and he all but sprints out of the laundry room once he’s done shoving his clothes into the dryer. 

To tell the truth, Ben had completely forgotten the original purpose of letting Rey peg him up until that moment, and as soon as the old man is out of earshot, they both break into laughter. “I guess it worked,” he says once they calm down enough. “I don’t think we need an excuse to do that again, though.”

“Oh?” Rey asks, grinning at him. He’s smiling back at her, cheeks warm. “Good,” she says, pulling him in for a kiss. “Because I definitely want a repeat performance after all that.”

**Author's Note:**

> *throws smut into the void and runs away*
> 
> i'm lying low on social media at the moment but i'm on twitter as [r_saltghoul](https://twitter.com/r_saltghoul) and tumblr as [radioactivesaltghoul](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/).


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